Tuesday, September 11, 2012

On the Upswing

I've always heard about the Six Month Curse, but I'm not sure I've experienced it before. I've only been in one relationship that lasted six months before this one, and that relationship was not a typical relationship. Perhaps FoxyJ's and my Six Month Curse was the point when I freaked out about marrying a woman and very nearly didn't go through with it. For the most part, though, she and I very rarely fought like most couples do after they get past the honeymoon stage.

In the case of Clark and me, I think we hit the Six Month Curse a little early, the process expedited by us moving in together at four months. It's hard not to be faced with reality once you're living with someone. It was about the time we moved in together that we started to have arguments, which freaked me out because conflict scares me and because like I said, I had very little experience with relationship conflict before that. I think we have both handled our disagreements well, doing our best to voice our concerns without being mean or spiteful, and honestly more often than not our disagreements are no more serious than the difference between "to-may-to" and "to-mah-to," but still my impulse when confronted with any type of conflict is to call the whole thing off.

It's a good thing we have Clark's friends Batman and Robin to help us overcome this curse. 
Partly because I was aware that the Six Month Curse is something most couples go through, and partly just because I'm stubborn, I have made a conscious decision to face my fear of conflict and stick with it. It has been encouraging to me to see that Clark is also willing to put in the hard work to make our relationship a success. He steps outside his comfort zone regularly to show his commitment, and I often notice him quietly doing little things to address some concern I voiced once a few weeks prior and had not brought up again since. I think it's because of the work that we are both putting into the relationship that it feels to me like we are back on an upward swing lately. We're in the "hard work" phase described in this article--we're slowly getting to know each other better and to understand what makes the other tick. It may take us a long time to achieve any kind of relationship nirvana, perhaps if we're lucky it will take us the rest of our lives, but in the meantime I'm going to focus on enjoying the ride.

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